Homesick.... ?

[I’m going to deviate, for just a moment, from the theme of this blog.]

You know how the way that the sun sets throughout different times of year is (obviously) indicative of the current season? What I mean to say is that while the angle of the Earth changes, the way the sunlight hits us is thus affected. The way the sun is hitting me right now, on this fairly lovely (for India) Sunday afternoon, I’m pleasantly reminded of how much I love this time of year. Fall is, by far, my favorite season. There’s just something about the mood that is particularly attractive to me; the weather gives relief from the hot summer, the air feels clean and crisp, nature’s extremities change from one color to the next before they hibernate in the soil for the winter… the list goes on. It’s also a definitive time of, ironically, new beginnings, as most of my years thus far have begun academically during this time. The days gradually lose sunlight, which inspires me to soak up and appreciate the sun as I know it won’t be long before darkness takes daily precedence. Socially, Fall both includes and precedes many annual events (birthdays, holidays, etc) that involve celebration, friends, and family. I just love it.

I’ve been asked by a couple people recently if I’m homesick; my initial reaction is no. Honestly, I haven’t really thought about it much. When I went home for 10 days in between my DC stint and India, it was the first time in my life where I felt like a visitor in Utah. Of course, it will always be home… not only did I spend arguably the first (perhaps) quarter of my life there, but my family is there. So are my mountains.

That’s one of the things that I really do miss. The mountains. One of my favorite things to do during the Fall months in Salt Lake is to drive or hike through the mountains and ogle at the spectrum of colors visible throughout the endless seas of trees. Sundance Canyon has some of the most spectacular views of this I have ever seen, as does East Canyon. Mmmm… especially at sunset, with the sun setting behind the Great Salt Lake, which creates an almost effervescent glistening in the air, seeming to penetrate every aspect of wilderness life that continuously mystifies me with its beauty. While Fall is my favorite time of year, Sunset is my favorite time of day, and I have yet to find comparable splendor on both as I’ve seen in Utah, specifically in Salt Lake.

Needless to say, Delhi doesn’t afford such natural indulgences, though I’ve heard (and seen) that this is certainly not true through all of India. But… Delhi is where I am, and it has its own exquisiteness manifest through different mediums, only some of which I have seen. Discovering this time of year on the other side of the world—in a crowded, often dirty, polluted city—is new for me.

I also just realized that this past summer is the first one in which I haven’t lived in Salt Lake. Summer in Salt Lake—and especially the transition from Summer to Fall—is something for which I’ve found myself yearning, not only because of nature’s allure, but because of my family and the mood created during these months. Relaxing on the weekends, listening to bluesy wonders (such as Willie Nelson, for example, which is what I’m listening to right now), sitting on the deck as the sun goes down, eating dinner, or just unwinding… these days are, truly, some of the best times I can collectively recall. I also realized that I haven’t been in Southern Utah (i.e. red rock country) in over a year… the mere fact astounds me. Southern Utah is yet another place of, how do I put it… almost a spiritual centrality, a known and familiar place of beauty and natural suitability; being amongst red rock fills me with feelings of freedom, tranquility, and serenity beyond any other circumstance I’ve known. Looking out onto the rocks and plateaus, from any viewpoint, I feel like I could run on air and skip blithely through it all. Oh yes, I do love Southern Utah.

All this is to say… being away from Utah during this time of year is a substantial reminder of how much I will always hold it close my heart and consciousness. I want to be clear that I’m not writing this post as a dig on India; I just wanted to give some reverence to the question that has been posed to me about being homesick. Again, my initial reaction is “Homesick? I don’t have a house anywhere to call my own. Nor do I know where I will be living as of January. My address right now is India! How could I be homesick?” … Alas, Utah will always be home to me; no matter how many years I spend away from it, I don’t think I’ll ever be able fully relinquish the fact that it is, indeed, a place of beauty, a place that… regardless of where I am, I will proudly call home.